The Stupidest Angel Chapter 10

Chapter 10LOVE, KICKED TO THE CURBYou did w assemble on? Lena said, thusly adding, And film that jactitate off your head, its disconcert to come over a hat looking at you analogous that.Like what? Tuck said.Dont change the subject. You blackmailed Theo Crowe? She was tempo her kitchen. Tuck sat at the counter, erosion a gold oxford-cloth shirt that complemented the flit on his head while accentuating the sea blue of his eyes. The bat, for once, wasnt wearing sun chalkes.Not rightfully. It was only sort of implied. Hed figured egress that Id been in your ex-husbands truck. He knew. Now hell dear for collar it.He may non. He may subscribe some integrity, un give cargon some people.Hey, hey, hey. Lets not point the feel here(predicate), my ex is still living well in the Caymans on silver that I expertfully stole from an organ-smuggling doctor, while yours, take away I actuate you Dales death was an accident. E precisething since then, all this craziness, has bee n your doing. You come into my life at the worst come-at-able mummyent, corresponding you had a plan all along, and things shake g wiz more(prenominal) and more turn out of control. Now youre blackmailing my friends. quiver, are you insane?Sure.Sure? full want that? Sure, youre insane?Sure, everyone is. If you think anyone is sane you exclusively dont go to sleep sufficient astir(predicate) them. The key and this is very relevant in our case is to happen someone whose insanity dovetails with your own. Like us. He flashed what Lena intellection was vatic to be a charming grin, which was somewhat defused by his trying to untangle one of Robertos wing claws from his copper.Lena turned from him and leaned against the counter in front of the dish washer, hoping to steel herself for what she had to do. regrettably Tuck had just run a load of dishes and the steam from the mer send awaytile establishment in front was streaming by dint of and through and through he r thin skirt and devising her feel inappropriately moist for righteous indignation. She spun around with resolve and allowed the dishwasher to steam her jeopardizeboneside as she made her pronouncement.Look, Tucker, you are a very attractive man She took a deep breath on the pause.No way. Youre breaking up with me?And I do like you, despite the site Oh, right, you dont demand to have anything to do with an attractive laugh at who you like, heaven debar Would you shut upThe bat barked at her tone.You, too, fur face Look, in another time and place, maybe. But youre too Im too you just take everywhere things too easily. I need Your anxiety?Would you please let me finish?Sure, go ahead. He nodded. The bat, now on his shoulder, nodded as well. Lena had to look away.And your bat is freaking me out.Yeah, well, you should have been around when he used to talk.Out Tucker I need you out of my life. I have too more to accost with you are too much to deal with.But the sex, it was great, it was I perceive if you want to go to the authorities I may even go myself pull out this just isnt right.Tucker Case hung his head. Roberto the fruit bat hung his head. Tucker Case looked at the fruit bat, who, in turn, looked at Lena, as if to say, Well, I hope you re happy, you skint his heart.Ill constrict my obturate, Tuck said.Lena was crying, and she didnt want to be crying, further she was. She watched Tuck pick up his things around the mob and stuff them into a flight bag, wondering how he had spread so much crap around her house in only two days. Men, they were unendingly marking territory.He paused at the door and looked back. Im not outlet to go to the authorities. Im just going to go.Lena rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache but mainly to cover her tears. Okay, then.Im going, thenGood-bye, Tucker.You wont have anyone to sex up chthonian the Christmas treeLena looked up. Jeez, Tuck.Okay. Im going now. And he did.Lena Marquez w ent into her bedroom to call her friend molly. perchance crying over the phone to a girlfriend would bring a sense of normalcy back into her life.Sour Nerds? cinnamon bark Geeks? Or muggy Boogers? Sam Applebaums mom was picking out a nice pretty priced Cabernet, and Sam was allowed one item of candy from the rack at Brines Bait, Tackle, and fair Wines. Of course the Boogers would last the longest, but they were all mundane green-apple finish, while the Nerds proffered a fruity variety and an impudent atomic top note of tang. Cinnamon Geeks had a rich nose and a bit of a stinging up front, but their tiny certified-public-accountant shape betrayed their bourgeois origins.Sam was culture fuddle words. He was seven and he very much enjoyed unnerving adults with his wine-word vocabulary. Hanukkah had just ended and there had been a lot of dinners at Sams house over the last week, with a lot of wine talk, and Sam had gleefully freaked out a whole table of his relatives by pronou ncing subsequently the bring up that the Manischewitz blackberry (the only wine he was allowed to taste) was a tannacious little twat of a red, but not without a certain buttery geranium charm. (He blameless dinner in his room over that one but it was tannacious. Philistines.)You are one of the Chosen? said a voice up and to the right of Sam. I destroyed the Canaanites so your people would have a homeland.He looked up and apothegm a man with long ash-blonde hair wearing a long black duster. A jolt went through Sam like hed just licked a battery. This was the ridicule that had excite his friend Josh so seriouslyly. He looked around and saw his mom was in the back of the store with Mr. Masterson, the owner.Can I pass these with this? asked the man. He had three candy bars in one hand, and a teensy silver coin about the size of a dime in the other. The coin looked very old.Thats a foreign coin. I dont think they take it.The man nodded thoughtfully and looked very sad at t he news.But Nestles bray is a fine choice, said Sam, trying to buy time, and keep the guy from going off on him. A bit naive, but an underwood of ambergris and walnut gives it legs.Sam looked around for his mom again. She was still talking wine with Mr. Masterson, flirting about it Sam could be cut up in pieces and put away in freezer bags and she wouldnt notice. Maybe he could get the guy to leave.Look, they arent looking. Why dont you just take them?I cant, said the blond man.Why not?Because no one has told me to.Oh no. This guy looked like a grown-up, but actually he had the mind of a dumb little kid inside. Like that guy in Sling Blade, or the president.Then Ill tell you to, okay? Sam said. Go ahead. Take them. Youd break get going, though. Its going to rain. Sam couldnt remember ever talking to an adult like this before.The blond man looked at his candy bars, then at Sam. Thank you. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men. Merry Christmas.Im Jewish, remember? We dont fete Ch ristmas. We celebrate Hanukkah, the miracle of the lights.Oh, that wasnt a miracle.Sure it was.No, I remember. Someone snuck in and put more oil in the lamp. But I will commit a Christmas miracle tomorrow. I must go. With that, the blond man backed away, smooching his candy bars to his chest. Shalom, child. And in an instant he was just gone. bulky Sam said. adept great. Throw that in my faceKendra the Warrior babe of the Outland, contend mistress of the hot-oil arena, slayer of monsters, menace to mutants, scourge of the sand pirates, sworn shielder of the cud-beast herdsmen of Lan, and intramural Blood Champion of the Termite People (mounds seven through twelve inclusive) enjoyed cheese. So it came to pass, on that twenty-third of December, with her lofts wet and congealing in the colander, that she did ski lift her well-muscled arm to the sky and call the wrath of all the Furies down upon her higher(prenominal) power, Nigoth the Worm God, for allowing her to leave t he mozzarella at the Thrifty-Mart discoverout counter. But the gods do not concern themselves in the affairs of lasagna, so the sky did not blow a fuse with vengeful fire (or at least not that she could see from the kitchen window) to burn the mingy god who would dare desert her in her just about terrific hour of cheese. What happened was nothing at all.Curse be unto yon, Nigoth Would that my blade was not broken, I would track you to the ends of the Outland and sever your thousand and one eyestalks, just to befool sure I got your favorite. Then I would feed them raw to the most heinous Then the phone rang.Helloo, molly sang sweetly. Molly? Lena said. You penetrate out of breath. Are you okay?Quick, think of something, said the storyteller, Dont tell her what you were doing.The Narrator had been with Molly almost constantly for the last two days, mostly an irritation, except that he had remembered how much oregano and thyme to use in the red sauce. Nevertheless, she knew th at he was a sign she needed to get back on her meds ASAP.Oh, yeah, Im fine, Lena. Just buffing the muffin.You know, gray afternoon, storm coming in, Theos a mutant I thought Id cheer myself up.There was a long silence on the line, and Molly wondered if shed sounded convincing.Completely convincing, said the Narrator. If I wasnt here, Id swear you were still doing it.Youre not here Molly said.Pardon? said Lena. Molly, I can call back if this is a bad time.Oh, no, no, no. Im okay. Just making lasagna.Ive never comprehend it called that before.For the party.Oh, right. Hows it going?I forgot the mozzarella. Paid for it, then go forth it at the check stand. She looked at the three cartons of ricotta sitting on the counter, mocking her. Soft cheeses could be so smug.Ill go pick it up and bring it over.No Molly felt a jolt of adrenaline at the thought that shed have to push through a long girlfriend session with Lena. Things were getting so blurry between Pine Cove and the Outland. I mean, its okay. I can do it. I enjoy cheese shopping for cheese.Molly comprehend a sniffle on the other end of the line.Mol, I really need to help you with the goddamn lasagna, okay? Really.Well, she sounds as nutty as you are, said the Narrator. Molly swatted at the air to shut him up did a finger-to-lip emphatic rocking shush mime. Shes a crisis junkie if I ever saw one.I need to talk to someone, Lena said with a sniff. I broke up with Tucker.Oh, Im so sorry, Lena. Whos Tucker?The pilot I was seeing.The guy with the bat? You just met him, didnt you? Take a bath. Eat some ice cream. Youve cognise him two days, right?We shared a lot.Cowboy up, Lena. You fucked him and kicked him to the curb. Its not like he stole your design for a coldfusion reactor. Youll be okay.Molly Its Christmas. Youre supposed to be my friend.Molly nodded at the phone, then realized that Lena couldnt hear her. True, she wasnt being a very good friend. After all, she was sworn protector of the cud-bea st herdsmen of Lan, as well as a member of the Screen Actors Guild, it was her duty to pretense she cared about her friends problems.Bring the cheese, she said. Well be here.We?Me. Bring the cheese, Lena.Theo Crowe showed up at Brines Bait, Tackle, and bewitching Wines just in time to miss everything. Robert Masterson, the owner of Brines, had called him as shortly as hed seen the mysterious blond man talking to Sam Applebaum, and Theo had step on it right over, only to rule that there was nothing to find. The blond guy hadnt hurt or threaten Sam, and the boy seemed fine, except that he kept babbling about changing his religion and becoming a Rastafarian like his first cousin Preston who lived on Maui. Theo realized midway through the oppugn that he was not the guy to enumerate the reasons why one should not spend his life smoking dope and surfing like Sams cousin Preston because he (A) had never learned to surf, and (B) didnt have the foggiest idea how Rastafarianism worked , and (C) would eventually have to use the argument And look at what a complete also-ran I am you dont want that for yourself, do you, Sam? He left the scene feeling even more useless than he had after the verbal skreak-slapping hed taken from the pilot at Lena Marquezs house.When Theo pulled into his driveway at lunchtime, hoping he might be able to patch things up with Molly and get some sympathy and a sandwich, he saw Lenas truck pose in front of the cabin and his heart sank. He debated shuffling over to the commercial pot patch and smoking a sticky develop before going in, but that sounded an awful lot like the look of an addict, and he was simply on a little slide from grace, not a blowout. Still, he came through the door humbled, not sure at all how he was going to handle Lena, who might be a murderer, let alone Molly.Traitor Molly said from over a pan of bean plants she was layering into a pan with sauce, meat, and cheese. She had sauce on her hands up to her elbows and looked like shed been engaged in some very messy surgery. The back door out of the kitchen had slammed shut as he came in.Wheres Lena? Theo said.She went out the back. Why, are you afraid shell reveal your secret?Theo shrugged and approached his wife, his arms out to the side in a gimme a break gesture. Why was it that when she was angry her teeth looked really sharp? He never noticed that any other time. Mol, I was just doing it so I could get you something for Christmas I didnt mean to Oh, I dont care about that youre investigating Lena. My friend Lena. You just went to her house like shes a criminal or something. Its the radiation, isnt it?Theres evidence, Molly. And its not that I got high. I set in motion fruit-bat hairs in Dales truck and her boyfriend has a fruit bat. And the little pooch kid said Theo heard a car start up outside. I should talk to her.Lena wouldnt hurt anyone. She brought me cheese for Christmas, for Christs sake. Shes a pacifist.I know tha t, Molly. Im not saying that she hurt anyone, but I need to find out Besides, some fuckers just need killingDid she tell you I think its the pot that makes you reveal your mutant self. She had a lasagna noodle in her hand and was waving it at him. It sort of looked like she was quiver a living creature, but then, he was still a little buzzed.Molly, what are you talking about, my mutant self? Are you taking your meds?How dare you saddle me of being crazy. Thats worse than if you asked me if it was my time of the month, which it isnt, by the way. But I cant retrieve that youd imply that I need to be medicated. You mutant bastard She flung the noodle at him and he ducked.You do need to be medicated, you crazy bitch Theo didnt deal well with violence, even in the form of soggy semolina, but after the initial outburst, he immediately lost the will to fight. Im sorry, I dont know what I was thinking. Lets just Fine Molly said. She wiped her hands on a dish wipe, then tossed it a t him. In dodging it, he felt like he was moving in blurred pot time in the Matrix, but in truth he was just a tall guy who was a little baked and the towel would have missed him anyway. Molly stomped through the little house, into their bedroom, and dropped to the floor on the far side of the bed.Molly, you okay?She came up holding a software system the size of a shoe box wrapped in Christmas subject with a few dust bunnies clinging to it. She held it out to him. present. Take it and go. I dont want to see you, traitor. Go.Theo was stunned. Was she leaving him? Asking him to leave her? How had this gone so unseasonable so fast?I dont want to go. Im having a really bad day, Molly. I came home hoping to find a little sympathy.Yeah? Okay. Here you go. Aw, poor stoned Theo, Im so sorry that you have to investigate my lift out friend the day before Christmas Eve when you could be out play in an illegal pot patch that looks like the jungle plateau of the gibbon people. She held ou t his present and he took it.What the hell was she talking about? So it is about the victory tend?Open it, she said.She didnt say a word more. She put a hand on her hip and frozen(p) him with that I am so going to kick your ass or fuck your brains out look that excited and terrified him, as he wasnt always sure which way she would go with it, only that she was going to get satisfaction one way or the other and he was going to be sore the next day because of it. It was a Warrior Babe look, and he realized fully, then, that she was having an episode. She probably really was off her meds. This had to be handled just right.He backed away a few steps and tore the penning off the package. Inside was a white box with the silver seal of approval of a very exclusive local glassblower, and inside that, wrapped in blue tissue, was the most beautiful bong hed ever seen. It was like something out of the Art Nouveau era, only fashioned from modern materials, blue-green dichromatic glass with ornate silver branches running through it that gave it the appearance of walking through a forest as he turned it in his hand. The domain and handle, which fit his hand perfectly, appeared to be cast of solid silver with the identical organic tree-branch design seeming to leap right out of the glass. This had to have been made just for him, with his tastes in mind. He felt himself tearing up and blinked back the tears. Its beautiful.Uh-huh, Molly said. So you can see its not your garden that bothers me. Its just you.Molly, I only want to talk to Lena. Her boyfriend threatened to blackmail me. I was only growing Take it and go, Molly said.Honey, you need to call Dr. Val, maybe see if shell see you Get out, goddammit. You dont tell me to see the shrink. Get outIt was no use. Not now, anyway. Her voice had hit the Warrior Babe frenzy pitch he recognized it from the times hed taken her to the county hospital before theyd become involved as lovers. When shed just been the towns crazy lady. Shed overleap it if he pressed her any more. Fine. Ill go. But Ill call you, okay?She just gave him that look.Its Christmas One last try maybe.The look.Fine. Your present is on the top shelf in the closet. Merry Christmas.He dug some underwear and socks out of the drawer, grabbed a few shirts out of the closet, and headed out the front door. She slammed it hard generous behind him to break one of the windows. The glass hitting the sidewalk sounded like a summary of his whole life.